Monday, December 17, 2007

the year is dead; long live the year

so. another year packs its bags. the chapter ends. a mixed bag as usual.

some really high highs and some really low lows. some of the lows were surprising and educational. the self learnt a few lessons and somewhere, still refuses to learn.

there are still a couple of greys that could be brightened up by a stroke of happiness and health...which might well be the case in the new chapter. Fingers crossed.

what of the future...never have thought too much about so much for right now, this nanosecond. my life hasnt been exactly predictable, given the fact that I keep surprising myself with the decisions I make, pure impulse...but that's how it is. slippery. and constant evolution.

life is a journey. and what a trip, wooohoo!

Saturday, December 01, 2007

grey gray

its been a really foggy day today. its evening now but the fog refuses to take five. oh well we all have our days, don't we?


I'd say I'm an okay cook, with no particular passion for the craft...i like to eat good stuff, yes, but a foodie, not so much. Still, I looove to watch cookery shows and shows on pretty indiscriminate in what I watch. It could be from any part of this globe, in any lingo and even if I dont get the instructions/ingredients, its OK, cause I dont intend to try any of that stuff on my own. I just love watching this stuff.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Monday, November 12, 2007

p.s. or maybe this goes under Duh!...?

the notion that the female of the species is more sensitive, emotionally fragile, unable to move on blah blah is so so wrong.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007


it was just a little while ago

almost dawn
blackbirds on the telephone wire
as I eat yesterday's
forgotten sandwich
at 6 a.m.
on a quiet Sunday morning.

one shoe in the corner
standing upright
the other laying on it's

yes, some lives were made to be

- Charles Bukowski

Friday, November 02, 2007

now that's a ride

just stumbled upon this person's page through good ole flickr. amazing, he's pretty much doing what I've been fantastising about for donkey's years. Though I have travelled a bit and met different people, my collection hasnt been as comprehensive as I'd dream it to be. someday, yes.

he's squeezing the last drop from Life. cheers!

Thursday, October 25, 2007

a song

there's this ooold song by Lobo (thanks much for the correction, methodactor!)that goes 'I love you too much to ever start liking you, so lets just let the story kinda end....'

funny thing is I know quite some people who've drifted apart and some of the halves feel exactly this way. love and like are two different can morph into love...but can love morph into like? I guess it depends on the kind of person you are. Me? Not been there yet. but if I could hazard a guess, maybe not or yes, maybe...

Amore involves a more fatal chemical reaction that sort of glosses over the details....going back to 'like', would mean pulling it down a notch, going back to the drawing board and actually staring at the warts and moles and irritating tics...makes sense absolutely.

Love must end, go up in flames, vaporise, crash as love for some, a grand passion, if you will...that cannot be cooled down to a mild like. But there are cases of the other halves that still try to be friends, maintain a like, a bond, a connection, something to keep it alive.

Apart from just a single case of it being a man thing (personally vouched for), its mostly women who feel that strongly...since they plumb the depths and soar the heights on this magic carpet...and once the ride ends, want to see nothing of the carpet or the mess hiding under it.


Friday, October 19, 2007


this one's too good. pretty identifiable for moms everywhere...and things almost everyone's heard as a kid too. :-D

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

idle notes to myself

wouldnt it be great if there was a place, a zone, a moment, where one could be nothing. totally empty oneself of all the baggage, weight, commitments, faces, relationships and just be nothing. the virtual world, once mooted as an option, isnt really as detached, I find...there are repeat relationships, ephemeral roots, connections and stories...what I mean is maybe a booth, a spot on the beach, under the shade of some tree, in the middle of a downpour/storm, when one can be washed clean of everything...and float and soar and dive and do cartwheels...if only for a moment...the length of the moment, not defined...where nothing is defined...just an eternal feeling of unbeing, nothingness...when I can be what I really am...the spirit, the flame set free. A teaser of what awaits, maybe, once the fat lady sings.

pure detachment, is rarely tasted.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007


the promos of the media-annointed 'hugely anticipated', 'clash of the titans' blah blah releases round the corner leave me stone cold, nay yawning my cranium off.

saawariya seems like another OTT, too much window dressing, fare from bhansali...he visualizes each of his frame as a painting and thats all it is...a beautiful but oh so boring painting...with the curl of hair, the zulf, just so...the cuteyoung boy and the damsel, the oh-so-prettydull gestures...all screams BORING.

Another huge bore-fest seems to be laaga chunari mein....i dont know abt the rest of the public, but the title track is so insipid and ghaseeta...nothing exciting abt the lead actors or the story either...the songs are dull.period.

om shanti om, retro on steroids, another mediocre time-pass, with the return of shah rukh khan's ham-ganger...yikes.

but hey, what do I know, yes? all 3 might make hay at the haloed BO which runs on the tried and tested, the formulaic algorithms.....

what seems interesting: no smoking, johnny gadaar, manorama 6 feet under...and bhool bhulaiya, tho I have seen the original malayalam movie more than once, which is an ace. akshay kumar sure is having fun, evolving...

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

I'm SO in the mood for

a well-made

creature flick/disaster movie/sci-fi horror


best of all

an unadulterated spine-chilling, nightmare-producing, should-have-thought-better

*Horror* flick.


Monday, October 01, 2007


I never learn, do I? or maybe its just my true self...jumping all over the place and just a bit puzzled with the backfiring...I realize at some level, that though these shots come out duds, I am doing what my self purely thinks is that moment, in that situation....maybe self-absorbed to the point of not gauging or actually, really giving a cupcake as to what the response will be, in that moment. I am my world, yes.

like a stubborn lil optimistic to the point of nausea pup who refuses to be or rather has no time to be cynical and or the cynical, knows the world through and through sardonic feline, leaps and lands on her feet...important, the last bit. cat on a hot tin roof, apt. A fave movie, btw...

I will do it again I know, goof-up, reach out and put both my feet in. take it on the chin, eat the dust and then rise, without a speck.

Testing my own limits, stretching the elastic, going down down down, plumbing the depths and soaring the next instant. the trajectory is not fixed, though some of the streets and alleys look familiar.

Its fun being me... ;-)

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

*That* was a match!

Absobloodyfultoocrazybrilliant, knock my socks off amazing...loved every bit of the T20 heart thumped and froze in turns like I bet zillions of others...Chak De India, totally!!! I was already on a high when we beat the frigging arrogant Aussies out of the game, go home kangaroos etc...that was the proudest...winning the cup was sheer genius.

That final ball, the catch and the huge shriek that came from the innards...fantastic...!!!!

The tv channels, the print media can't have enough of milking this one...and rightly so...the victory parade today, the Vijay Rath, the junta going delirious...euphoria, India ishtyle...

A turn of the wheel, a new chapter. Absolutely fantastic. :-)

Friday, September 14, 2007


I love how I can step back and look at how I keep moulting and evolving (hopefully) in phases through my life.

right now, its this simplify my life phase, which involves getting real about facts and situations and not harbouring any illusions about stuff...stark and minimal...travelling so light, I could fly albeit with the requisite bit of earthing.

detached and attached and the in-between.

work in progress.

Saturday, September 01, 2007

Saturday, August 25, 2007

never say never

never thot I'd say this...but shahrukh khan looks really sexy and acts well too.

yup, saw bits of Chak De last night on cable...wish I could see all of it in the movie hall....

for a change he was actually the character...the angsty coach of the feisty wannabe women's hockey team and not the superinflated superhammy superstar pretending to be a Rahul or what was it, Raj ? etc....

loved him. loved the movie...loved the girls! and the music. Just the right amount of patriotic masala to get the old blood boiling...and predictably, totally fell for the sequence where the girls beat up some low lives.....was it cathartic, you bet your grandma's Vicks vaporub!

the last time I had good warm feelings for this guy was circa early '90s when he burst on the scene with Darr, Baazigar, Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa and even the gore-fest Anjaam...when he hadnt mutated into this androgynous lover boy candy floss-coming-out-of-my-ears creature...before the Karan Johar phase.

This is one movie and role he will and should be proud of, totally.

Definitely a must-watch. Paisa vasool and good cinema too.

p.s. maybe its the stubble and the un-effete wardrobe that helped? hmmm...

Tuesday, August 21, 2007


I am SOOOO pissed off, so irritated with a few people...I keep reading abt them, see their smug faces and idiotic soundbytes on the telly all day long, and I just keep hoping someone would just wipe them off the face of the earth...

out of nowhere, at a rather crucial time, the &^&*^* Left decides to pull the rug right from underneath our promising foreign policy....I mean WTF were they doing all this time...the deal's been hammered away at for close to 2 years now? and just when its almost sealed (the American cong needs to go thru the motions etc) they decide to let their blooming ideology which seriously has no place in the 21st century spoil the party. They are virtually Chinese agents, helping our neighbor without it even moving a finger.

we all know what this deal means...we piggyback to a larger role in global affairs, are assured more energy resources, and the US, yes gets its back scratched too by countering China's dominance with this rising tiger, India....thats what geopolitical affairs today are all abt: there are no free lunches...and when the deal has all the pluses that have been repeated ad nauseum in all the dailies and discussion forums on all the news channels, why suddenly drag your own country back 20 years?

Who are they fooling with the national sovereignty bit? Everyone knows they're pandering to China...since this deal (which incidentally and so ironically even China has signed) will bring abt some kind of a balance in the Asia-Pac zone...

On their own, they amount to ZILCH, just a handful which can be easily wiped out in any other state except Kerala and West Bengal...a handful of dinosaurs who would rather see India always as pathetic and so bloody maddening. They are enjoying their moment in the sun, the Yechuris, Bardhans, Karats etc....they are holding a country to ransom and getting more stubborn by the hour. I wish I could do something abt it...let the junta decide what is good for their nation, its not the Commies who decide what we need, with all their barely-hidden agenda and sabre-rattling abt national interests....

It will be terrifyingly disappointing if the deal doesnt go through....a golden chance, lost and all becos of some jerks who should have gone the dodo way, long ago.

I can't stand them and I'm sure there are millions of people like me right now. Wish we could do something.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

saw this somewhere...

“Try to relax and enjoy the crisis.” -- ASHLEIGH BRILLIANT

loved it. :-D

Monday, August 06, 2007


the day started on a really sad note. heard that a young girl in our apartment complex committed suicide early this morning. i might have seen her now and then, smiled at her idea who she is. a high school student, she missed her bus and her dad told her to wait at the gate while he got the car keys. she walked to one of the blocks and jumped off the 8th floor, the roof. the enormity of it still hasnt sunk in. sometimes things are so big and deep that they just can't be squeezed into normal articulation and gasps. a life ended, casually. was it a momentary giving-in, a build-up of some emotional maelstrom, can only speculate. terribly sad.

everyday, the newspapers have atleast 4 such acts covered, the ones the press got many more end up as statistics in some obscure corner, no one knows.

read an article about a guy making a film on the Golden Gate in SF and how its the suicide bridge...seemingly happy, casually walking people jump into the deep....some plan for months, some try, are thwarted and try again...some just do it. the workings of the mind are too complex for any rational explanations.

some argue its selfish, its a crime, some say its pure instinct, I own this life so I can end it too...the debate goes on. supremely ironical that it takes an obscene amount of courage to take the final step, one the society labels an act of cowardice. the primary instinct of all living beings is survival, self-preservation. to go against it knowingly, boggles the rational mind. if a second person were to intervene and try and hasten the act, the sick person will fight the attempt since the primary instinct is to survive and to live...even tho, his/her intentions are to end it all.

a life finished. period. God bless her soul and give her loved ones the strength to live on and live through this. sad.

Saturday, August 04, 2007


out of the grey...just like that.

love the song, love seal, love batman...

luuuuuurrrrrvvvvee Val Kilmer.

Monday, July 30, 2007

guten tag, Tag...

Nee's tag about what gets the self-righteous b**** in me. I am a pretty much laidback they-all-have-their-screwed-reasons kind of a person... but yes, there would be certain elements that would invite my sardonic wit and progressively, saliva-laden shake-like-a-demented-jelly wrath.

1. insular, parochial, prejudiced people who just can't seem to see beyond their community/traditions/state/race/genetic pool. people who are in denial of the fact that we are pretty much the same species (except for the unicellular amoebic group, to which these can easily lay claim to), the same bunch of organs and orifices under the peeling plaster. the world's shrinking and an important step towards human evolution version 9.0 is crawling out of our rocks and living like a family on this watery planet.

2. pseudo seculars, the type that particularly infests our country. I respect other religions the way I do mine (tho I treat mine more as a philosophical reference), no more no less. I will not let someone attack a religion just because its convenient and safer to do so.
faith is but the hope that keeps all living species going. the world over, political correctness has assumed epidemic-like proportions, which does not bode well for individuality.

3. the people who say they hate or love a celeb becos everyone else does / refuse to read books that fall into what they have been told or have imbibed is the lowbrow shelf. I admire and cherish the original, an almost extinct concept.

4. and finally...people who think karan johar and his group of faves is the best thing to happen to Hindi cinema.

I tag: QSG and CCC....this shd be good. :-D

Monday, July 23, 2007

random ~ tag

QSG tag. 5 random facts about me.

1. Am wearing pink jammies with cows, MOUUUOOOU, MILK on them.

2. Just pulled out a handful of hair while playing with whats left of them.

3. Am sick of and yet sickeningly numbed by the daily dose of child rape, murders, female foeticide, road rage gore and front page stuff in general.

4. Am rather concerned with the bloody rains just totally incredibly skipping my part of Delhi, despite the seductive clouds just looming all over since morn, doing ZILCH. I mean WTF does it mean?!

5. I suck at nurturing any kind of long termish relation things, the glue's missing, but am a fun friend while I am one.

So there it is. Just like that.

Now to tag 5...
Nee, CCC, Laila and Rain - only if they want to. The fifth element, can be anyone...honestly.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

not just words

bizarre, somebody was just telling me off today for not giving captions to the pics I had shared.


my cook made me think today.

she regrets not having studied. given how sharp, strong and sassy she is, she would have soared heights if she had. I totally agree...around my age, with 4 kids (she married when she was 17 or 18), shes attractive, no-nonsense and pretty egoistic. her hubby's a no-good-bloke, she even lived separately with her kids for some months, in a rented shack to get rid of him and his they are all back together since her brother-in-law who seems to be a good egg, begged, wheedled her to come back and do her thing and save the rent bit.

shes handled a variety of jobs like selling veggies, assisting a tailor and other stuff...thinks she has the business acumen to start her own venture, but knows that not being literate will be a stumbling block. I prodded her to join an adult night school or ask one of her kids to teach her the basics...she seemed reluctant and stated, 'aadhi zindagi aise hi katt gayi' or 'anyway, half my life has been spent thus', which I couldnt but agree with.

As a contemporary, but from a different strata, I can hope to learn a new language, pick up a new skill, push the envelope even a decade from now, but for her, its more important that her kids get to be comfy and good and life goes on. She tells me if it werent for her kids, she would have kicked her hubby connection out of her life. That, though, transcends race, strata and even species - the maternal instinct to hang on and give up and see through for the kids.

But what is sad is that here is a bright mind that knows it can soar but is too grounded in its reality to do anything drastic. I will continue to prod her dormant urge to learn and make something of the next half of this life. Out of her brood, just one of her kids, a daughter, shows a similar desire to learn and expand her horizon. Maybe, its not a wasted case, after all.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

do the to-do

QSG tagged me some time back...fave ads...

since the past is kind of a blurry blob to me right now, I will try and grasp at any visions that get conjured up...hmm...lets see...just off the top of my bean, the Brit 'I'm Gorgeous' for some healthfood/snack, the old jab mein chhota ladka tha Bajaj ad, the can-you-hear-me-now Verizon, the Amul Taste-of-India, and quite some more that I am absolutely sure I have let fall through the enormous cracks in my cranium.

maybe I shd update this list when I'm really not so foggy and incredibly inert!

Monday, July 09, 2007

Saturday, June 30, 2007

zeitgeist, 21st century, as I see it

the defining note of the 21st century in human terms has to be hype.
everything is a product, a spin-off of the great hype machine. good, bad, doesnt long as you/it are talked about and earn your soundbytes and mugshot on media, you/it are It. paris hilton, rakhi sawant, the iPhone, global warming, posh beckham, going green, mumbai floods, somebody's wedding, obama's take, somebody's shrine, somebody's trash, somebody's scandal. the great unwashed and washed gorge on what they are fed by the rabid media.

the collective unconscious has never been more automaton-like, originality discarded for what the gurus say is cool, hip, It or uncool-cool. this mind-state transcends races and continents. follow the leaders...labels, brands, icons, cults, the buzz.


Friday, June 29, 2007

soft note

theres something sadsweet abt knowing that you won't probably ever meet some of the random people [strangers another label] you meet when you muss sein. polaroids in the mind, fading away to silhouettes, and then just vague smudgy outlines of what once was, for a minute, hour, day, a whiff of a forgotten corner...poignant and beautiful.

my attic's full of these. am a collector of these. more in the moment, the immediate than in the extended, stretched.

still, sadsweet. ships passing in the night.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Monday, June 25, 2007

came back with a monstrous tan!

now that was a trip.

Kashmir again, after 19 years....still Paradise...the scenic landscape and the beautiful people as usual, punctuated this time by and sadness, supreme.

had an amazing road trip to srinagar from jammu...visited the usual suspects, shikara-ed, gulmarg...friendly faces....the setting almost normal again...tourists by the bucket...from all over the country...the magnificent mountains surveying human folly....ageless, timeless

our driver...a crazy character...drove like a maniac through the mountains, hairpin bends and all...colourful original. tall, strapping, long hair and the occasional habitual eccentric gestures while overtaking another vehicle on a turn that can accomodate half with a gorge staring us in glee...Shaitani Naala, the spot on the highway where many have tumbled down to meet the One.

the lil kids who wanted their pics taken as I went shutter-crazy...posing for me. :-) the security forces, tough yet human, from different parts of the country, guarding a jewel.

Amazing time....memories now...forever.

Friday, June 08, 2007

bungee-jumping and some

have I chomped off more than I can digest. maybe, maybe not. I get a kick out of throwing me a dare, pushing the limits just a tad. No safety net.

Have always landed on my feet, this should not be an exception. With somebody up there indulging me of course, pretty please. :-D

Life is such a BS thing, isnt it...we're all making up excuses, wearing roles, making a mess till the Exit sign lights up. And the funniest thing is we take it all so bloody seriously. Like it will matter when there is nothing left.

Some bits will remain in this dimension but I wouldnt be interested. Maybe.

Oh well, back to prodding the slacker.

Monday, May 28, 2007


one of those times when theres lots of movement, energy and buzz. i can almost feel my self going bzzbbzzzz...static coming off of me...nice.


saw Metro, finally...really liked it...liked the ending, liked the fact that one of the track's end wasnt, well, an end or a happy one - more like a loose end...liked the OTT, filmy, light relief of another track...a bit like life ...loved the songs and the wandering minstrels-sutradhars...the rain, the colors, the mood, the angst, the numbness...all about amore in urbania. 'Kar salaam', the apt final tune...

a rainy gorgeous day today....the best and worst way to see Delhi pre-during-post-rain is in an auto...the gorgeous craters and their mucky contents splashed around, traffic chaos, people laughing and gorging on stuff...the heat and the greys.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007


dug out and wore an old tee thats been with me for aeons, I think.
a seriously ancient rag that dates back to 47 BC or some...when I was in senior school, maybe? remember wearing it to college too....and still of the few things that stuck.

a baggy original (says styled in Italy on the tag) Benetton thing in black with the earth getting screwed (literally), it couldnt have made a more apt re-appearance.

might pass it down through to my heirloom thats beyond price tags. who knows 50 years from now, they actually might sell it on eBay or whatever rules the cyber market then, and earn some. hmm. :-D


its funny sweet how one can connect beyond spaces and dimensions. nice.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Friday, May 11, 2007


Update on the perfume scene. Couple of months back, found my proboscis leading me to Absolutely Givenchy - Limited Edition.

Love it! :-)


Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

da meghs are here

for a day maybe. drizzled a bit....the trite geeli-mitti smell still all over the place...

a HUGE clap of thunder just now!!! holy moly! like the One up there's dropped a blessed table or some...hope it stays this way for some days. pleease.


jaago Dilli jaago...

Monday, April 30, 2007

the heat is consistent. 42 - 43 degrees and counting.


'life in a metro' shd be good...i hope its the very next flick I watch since the last Casino Royale binge.

so shd 'cheeni kum'...seems interesting...might not survive at the BO tho like 'nishabd'...auntyjis and unclejis can't digest bachchan sr. as anything but a noble, sherwani clad patriarch of a wannabe joint family a la yashraj or johar or at the least, a noble, khaki clad policewala. pity.

i kinda enjoyed his OTT, audacious and totally out-of-the-blue character in Boom, that doomed pic.

Acting is about pushing the envelope, pretending to be somebody you are not, soaring to new heights...but in apna Hindi cinema, for the most part, its all about sticking to the tried n tested and wearing designer stuff and making the family segment happy...hence, mediocrity is celebrated and incredibly hyped.

I really like Kay Kay Menon...hes a true actor...sadly, anyone who brings an amount of intensity to their role is branded 'arty' or 'offbeat' since they lack the gloss and fluff...

the influx of small-budget/indie/creative film makers and houses like Anurag Kashyap, Anurag Basu, Onir, UTV and others is a huge dose of much-needed oxygen into the hindi film scene.

Film makers can't take refuge any longer in that old lame tottering adage that the public demands the crap they get...

Wednesday, April 11, 2007


will I turn left, right or stick to my lane?

theres an itch building learn, unlearn but not forget...collect some more.

I steer this vehicle...

will I make the leap on an impulse, old habits..., because I feel like it?

the not-knowing as always is fun. :-)

the world is waiting to be soaked up...

I hold the answers...

the question was...?

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Sunday, April 08, 2007


Really like the 'Inn Dino' track from Life in a Metro - it has James strumming along on the guitar...loved his Bheegi Bheegi...a huge fave. Hope the movie is as good as it seems to multiplex stuff.


Also, the Laree Chootee from Ek Chalis ki Last Local....very catchy....

Wednesday, April 04, 2007


while I miss the jerry-george-elaine (and kramer) nothingness/

Saturday, March 31, 2007

this above all else...

to thine own self be true.

been times when I felt like kicking myself for doing something but then I know I do what is true to me....even if it seems uncool and thankless.

if I didnt, it wouldnt be me.

like some wise guy in a movie said...'you can't run away from who you are'.


and true.

Friday, March 30, 2007


the heat's creeping up. groggy head.

the usually happy bright yellow flowers on the blue curtains seem a bit pale, but they still smile, defiantly.

and I rave in my stupor.

bored out of my skull. of everything. of you too.


Sunday, March 25, 2007


back to growing roots again.

its funny, through all the travels and stays wherever, as soon as I touch down at IGI, its like I was never away, whether it was for days or months or years. All the moments, the routine, the new life, the faces, places, smells, feelings just evaporate and all thats left is some JPEGs, blogposts, and that old, but in my case not so trusted, memory.

I do miss that place we called home for 8-9 months and the life we had there...but all the intense nostalgia's been shredded through...landing on my feet, again. maybe its cos I've been through it before.

did feel the proverbial lump and the mist in the eyes for some minutes as we drove away...felt more sad for her since for her it was life as she knew it in the immediate moment, as all toddlers are wont to. She knows this is her home, always did remember but is slowly getting comfortable with the corners and spaces.

Life...accumulating all the experiences I can before its time to let go of all of it and unlearn all from day one.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

popping up in unusual places

it was weird today hearing a white lady columnist socialite or some such who had been to the Liz-Arun wedding in jodhpur squeal excitedly about the upcoming marriage of the century in India on a morning show on GMTV, when it would be held and opulent it would be...she and the anchor drooled over the couple's pic and imagined how beautiful their kids would be! I scratched my head and had to check what channel I was on.!

then on Countdown recently, an Indian doc who's still the champ, mentioned in his profile that he loves watching movies with Aishwarya in it...Des O'Connor asked him if shes cute...and he said yes. :-D

went to buy some cosmetic stuff recently...and there she was predictably tho in the L'Oreal space and that watch thing too.

and now this. Just when I thought, shes gone off the radar for a bit..! Oh well.


Will really miss my daily fix of Countdown, D or ND etc...

Monday, March 12, 2007


Will be away for a bit. Moving back to Delhi in a few days. Tomorrow, the cable guys will leave us without the usual crutches.

The next chapter awaits. This one was fun. :-)

Friday, March 09, 2007

heresy or the truth?

Saw an amazing docu on Channel 4 last night - The Great Global Warming Swindle. It aimed to demolish the hysteria that has built up around global warming and how human carbon footprints are driving climate change.

A brave and well-reasoned explanation of the volatile nature of climate over aeons. How it is ridiculous to think that manmade gases can create such an impact and how the true puppeteer is that burning ball of fire, the sun. The earth has been warming and cooling through the millenniums, without the help of humans.

Throughout the docu, several top-notch scientists ripped this new fad apart with the requisite data and facts....and said how they had been nearly ostracised for daring to question or refute the idea of man causing climate change!

It went on to expose at length as to how all this global warming chanting is actually a propaganda and how environmental activism is more of a political activism today. It is actually an industry now, employing thousands of people who would be out of a job if the whole premise was exposed as a sham.

It also went to say how this whole drive harbours rather sinister intentions of stalling the development of the developing countries by hanging the carbon gases-emissions guilt trip over their heads.

They'd rather countries like Africa and India use solar panels and such expensive unreliable technology to move ahead on the path of modernity while they themselves have used up God knows how many fuels and the likes.

In another special shown on the same channel, some time back, which tried to find out what all religions have to say about man's responsibility towards the earth and global warming, the presenter also went to India to question what Hinduism says about all this. In Mumbai or Ahmedabad, he actually had the gall to ask some freelancing photgrapher who was getting an AC installed, whether he didnt feel guilty doing it and how it will affect the emissions scene. The double standards were so ridiculously transparent...! This presenter chap has burnt up enough miles to fly to India and the other parts of the world he covered...and must be shacked up in a 5 star hotel with AC in the loo and can still turn around and ask this guy.

Makes you think and think again.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Passing away

R.I.P, Mr. Humphries.

You made me smile and straight out and the rest of the staff at Grace Brothers.

Timeless and inimitable.

Seeing Mr. Lucas, Mr. Rumbold and Mr. Peacock on Richard and Judy today, remembering you, was a happy and sad moment...they've all grown so old...but they're still the way they were in my mind, all the reruns that I've savoured.

An old favorite, close to the heart. Always.


Heard about the passing away of a gentleman I have met only once in my life, about 15 years ago but we'd bonded truly. he made lunch and what a lunch. he would joke that if we met after ages, I might not recognize him if we passed each other on the street, for he would be so old...a genuinely warm and friendly human being. And his wife and the rest of the extended family. felt like part of their family without any of the stupid lineage thing...

Sepia happy memories, now.

God bless.

Monday, February 26, 2007

there we go again!

funny how so much fuss is made about what is essentially an artificial contrived concept, religion.

all the paths, books, icons, leaders, idols, rituals transmogrifying from a basic need to believe in something.

something to redeem this existence. to fill the void. finding excuses to live through the time allotted.


I keep telling him that if we are not alone and are part of a larger intelligent living cosmos, we must be the failed experiment, the rejects, the outcasts...given the inherent flaw in us which causes us to destroy what we must preserve, given our inability to see that we are one species in the end...hence the isolation, till now. the better, the superior, the evolved keep their distance.


the oscars happened. couldnt catch it live. didnt miss it though. the same tuxedos, gowns, hair, jewellery, acceptance speeches, tears and gobsmacked looks...whats new.

Friday, February 23, 2007

and life intervened

it was so funny. there I was acting as a sounding board for a friend who needs to pick a new job...the pros and cons of a big corp. and a smaller joint...since I've sampled both worlds, she wanted me to just think aloud as to what I would do.

Go for a smaller set-up which offers more visibility and money and a comfy feeling or a bigger creature with its wider canvas, the feeling of being just another corporate serf/cog and a not-so-bloated salary.

in the middle of the high-falutin BS gyaan I was spouting, I had to go and change a diaper. :-D
we both laffed about it.

Life grounds you. Kids ground you down to size. Your sense of humor funnily enough only gets better with them around. Without it, you are doomed.


some hopeless fan's actually gone to such efforts...nice collage though...and the song's an old fave...a love story indeed :-)

Monday, February 19, 2007

carnage, again

people, innocents, burned alive...some asleep, some waking up to the horror and fighting to get out. taking a train to return home after meeting your relatives - a simple act that climaxed in a carnage.

I wonder what motivates the twisted minds behind such deeds...cannot be religion, cannot be God or any superior power or holy book.

How do they sleep at night, knowing that blood is on their hands. All this to derail a peace process, to make sure they get a piece of the disputed pie...such lengths for a piece of land. What a world we live in.

Of all the species on this watery planet, the only dysfunctional one got the super brains.

All thats left is charred remains, and belongings. Again.


Sunday, February 18, 2007

double whammy!

love this song, heard it after a loong time, and Van G's paintings...!


Friday, February 16, 2007

plumbing the pits

something is really, manically wrong with the portal, rediff.

of late they have been plugging, sucking up to shah rukh khan, carving out a major space for him and his new KBC stuff...everyday is a new paean to this rather mediocre ham of an actor who is, it must be said, a really shrewd media-savvy box-office player. wonder if hes a stakeholder in their parent company or maybe its just pure PR.

thus, they air *exclusive* interviews with him every blessed day...Part 1, 2, 3....with him spouting classic megalomaniacal bytes...enough to make anyone retch except for staunch psychophants. they are also pretty cannily playing up the so-called clash between Bachchan and this guy. For what its worth, with the body of work that Amitabh has notched up over the years, its a no-brainer as far as the art of acting is concerned.

but if it was true and there was a clash between the veteran and the upstart, it would be wise for the latter to atleast take on someone in his league, say Aamir or Ajay...but he can't..he can't brandish anything to support his case, except the old formulaic romantic syrup hes wallowed in, thanks to the Chopras and his bosom pal (?)... and in his early and sadly, better years, the negative roles.

Its pathetic that in the Hindi film industry, the box office is still bloody everything, actors are ranked ala local cattle fair and some of the *superstars* actually start believing their hype.

The real craft of acting, the passion for cinema is lost and trampled over in this stampede for manna and fame. the definition of cinema is slowly getting horribly mutilated.

true actors like naseer, om puri, pankaj kapur, kay kay, bachchan etc and in the commercial lot - ajay devgan, aamir khan, akshaye khanna seem to be happy doing their stuff on the sidelines.

for that matter, the young turks, abhishek and hrithik too seem to be grounded and not given to ego exercises.

the way I see it, srk knows his shelf-life and his limited skill-sets and is doing what he does best - stoke up the media which in turn plays to the gallery of morons who digest all the gas they read/see/hear....eyeballs, TRPs, hits, traffic = money. not cinema. definitely not.

And the portal's comment space...thats just another bizarre place altogether...some are just plain vicious and uneducated, crammed full of prejudices and ignorance.

sordid and pathetic. i used to visit this site often, now its just lost its credibility.

Thursday, February 15, 2007


the not-so-pretty truth!

if I was Cleo, I would have the artist pickled on the spot.

hmm...or maybe, her personality or to put it plainly her SA was so overpowering that it defined history...?

whatever...but in my bean, it will always be imperious Liz...and Richard in that amazing love-story.

'you happened to me'...SIGH.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

life as I call it

will be another year older next month...almost lived half of my life already...looking back and looking around, not bad at all!

this last year specifically I have seen myself really change, get more assertive with myself, absorbing all the energies floating around, working on impulses as usual but in a more canny way. maybe it was because of the circumstances I chose to be in that helped me be more in touch with my inner.

have been clearer in my head about the baggage I really need on this trip...brushed away a few unnecessary strands...

still as short-tempered and silly as before...still ready with a smile and a cheerful word, still open to newness...still not available to anyone.

have enjoyed every bit of the story...more to come, maybe...but henceforth a more structured predictable storyline, I would say, like with anyone else. but I continue to remain attuned to all thats around on a micro and macro level...

so much more to go through and soak up.

Monday, February 12, 2007

'I'm gorgeous!'

love that song in the Weight Watcher's commercial...have to find out more and hear more of it... :-)

such a picker-upper! :-)

Saturday, February 10, 2007

after the snow.

the snow on the 8th was lovely...the worst/heaviest snowfall in a decade it seems...some 7-8 cms in Reading alone...we had fun. :-)


watching Naach in bits...seen it before...remembered liking it for the performances and story, even if the costumes and dances in the song n dance bits were a bit unusual....liked the title song...

realistic treatment of a relationship....dark satirical view of the film industry networking and sucking up is the only way up......both the lead actors are very good...the scene in the car when the guy gets infuriated by her egoistic attitude wonder it bombed at the BO.

sad that apni junta cant swallow any experimentation or unusual takes on life...only the same formulaic candy floss fare from utterly mediocre ppl like karan johar and shah rukh khan....pathetic!

woh subah kabhi toh aayegi!


Want to see Black Friday and Undertrial...gritty and dark....

Wednesday, February 07, 2007


why not? dont see any earth-shattering supernova-creating effects tho...but happy for the newness. :-D

my mood is...

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

cutting loose!

finally did something which has been nibbling away inside for some time...was getting dead bored of the same coordinates and the social bits, maybe? needed space to just be myself without scrutiny.

will I do a volte-face, true to my fickle nature? doesnt seem like for now.

I like anonymity and I like change more than anything else...familiarity sickens after some time....

might return after a spell if I get bored of being with myself...

till then, its the underground for me! :-)

Monday, February 05, 2007

while on page 283...

am in the middle of the book...blurb quotes some wise *critic*'the most terrifying thriller you will read all year"...which is what pulled me in...but am nowhere *near* terrified or even revved-up, sadly.

I really hope this wont be one of those lame ones that totally resemble a deflated ego by the end of it...sad and abject. But I'm still on it, hoping to scrounge out some redemptive bits from it. the premise was laughable and infantile but still could have been worked up into a froth in the right hands.

oh well, hope the plot thickens.... or takes shape, more like!


that was fun...all those kiwis in black with their drinks and high spirits behind Big Ben...celebrating their national of us gawking, hoping to catch the 'hakka' which we didnt, sadly....and the promising-to-be-really-colorful crowd scattered by the coppers...which meant we had to walk a looong way to the Tube.


Eklavya looks amazing, shd be good...and what a cast. and the director, VVC himself taking on the mantle after some time...

Tuesday, January 30, 2007


its over, she won it, made lots of money, generated lots of buzz and got a new infamous publicist to boot. the best career move shes made ever, I'd say.

I miss it a bit new-found daily fix of voyeurism...I surprised myself...usually break out in rashes with reality anything...but this one got me...switching over to E4 now and then to see what they are upto, in the live bits...characters / guinea pigs...

it must be so strange for them...boxed in there with their quirks, likes, dislikes, rants, smells for 25 odd days and then back to living out their public polished (?) image...they must miss it in private...Stockholm syndrome-ish. surreal.

wonder why I didnt take up psychology when I hindsight, everything looks doable and regrets but quite a few why-the-hell-nots?


Thursday, January 25, 2007

I'm IT

so, got tagged by goes...

word(s) of caution - you might need some oregano with this! :-)

Three things that scare me:
1. my mind
2. slimy wriggly blind worms
3. tiny closed spaces

Three people who make me laugh:
1. woody allen
2. groucho marx
3. anybody who hits the F spot

Three things I love:
1. Travelling
2. Having a moment with him and my lil girl
3. A crazy roller-coaster ride

Three things I hate:
1. pettiness
2. stinginess
3. negativity

Three things I don’t understand:
1. what the *&%%^ am I doing on this lil watery planet thats crammed full of idiots like me.
2. who gives people aka society the right to dictate how one should live when they have no say in one's birth or death.
3. people who can't let go.

Three things on my desk:
1. dont have a desk where I am right now so...
2. ditto
3. ditto

Three things I’m doing right now:
1. rescuing a dolphin
2. writing my paper on climate change and how it is responsible for my comp acting up lately
3. pole-dancing

Three things I want to do before I die:
1. See the great annual wildebeest migration in Africa
2. work on one of my lil dream projects
3. Bungee jump off the Angel Falls

Three things I can do:
1. Guffaw
2. Listen
3. Evolve, moult, change

Three things you should listen to:
1. the sound of silence
2. your subconscious
3. nature

Three things you should never listen to:
1. people trying to make up your mind for you
2. me singing. you might not survive the episode.
3. me not singing. I'm even worse just talking.

Three things I’d like to learn:
1. couple of languages
2. swimming
3. rock-climbing

Three favourite foods:
1. Chinese/Thai/Vietnamese
2. my mom's fried fish (among others)....heaven!
3. Nizam's/Karim's kebabs n rolls n biryani n....

Three beverages I drink regularly:
1. Tea
2. Tea.
3. Tea.

Three TV shows/Books I watched/read as a kid:
1. Chitrahaar
2. Agatha Christie/Enid Blyton stuff
3. The Old Fox

Three people I would like to tag:
I do?! alright, then...if they want to, that is!

1. QSG
2. Laila
3. Sundar
4. Rain

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

another theory, not so promising for me then. :-)


so damn cold here since yesterday...


one of my stress-busters is a good episode of Takeshi's castle...feels good to laugh my insides out at some of the segments...maybe its a touch sadistic seeing the participants get all black n blue during their endeavour to conquer the count's castle...but hey, they all look pretty happy if foolish through all the bumps and thumps....

if Japan ever happens, will try and look up General Lee. :-)


was telling my hubby yest., how our lives are a bit like BB...we are all put under certain circumstances and have to find excuses, reasons to go on living till its time to be one's a loser or a winner, in the end tho...we have our rows and flirtations, our cliques and tiny planet and we all have to get along even if it means killing each other. the prob is that we're wrecking our home in the process.

wish we cd have learnt some from all the other species here that share an amazingly symbiotic relationship...and its us who're superior given the ultimate tool/weapon, the brain?

more like the weakest link, I'd say.

Friday, January 19, 2007

waxing n waning

I really dont get Madame Tussauds.

I mean what is the big deal about lifelike wax statues of the famous. What purpose does it serve for the general public? So when they are dead and gone, you can still put your arm around their shoulder or kiss them on the cheek while posing for the camera...what?

I did visit the MT in Las Vegas some years ago...curiousity plus part of the touristy thing to do in vegas with the gp...took some rather silly pics with some of the celebs I'm partial too...but it all felt silly even then...trying on stupid wigs and outrageous accessories, that was fun.

so, yes I really wouldnt pay to go see or stand next to or grope wax statues...however uncanny the resemblance....the originals themselves dont seem so amazing to me so why bother with the fake....theres honestly not a single famous person I would want to meet...let alone take an autograph of or take a pic with...thats the way its been for quite some time in my world...boring.

so, dont get it, the MT thing. maybe as a record for posterity...?


its funny how in all the stuff abt the two actors getting hitched, there were lots of ppl ruing the guy's fate and how the lady's using him to climb up and all that stuff...

I didnt see anyone, maybe just one or two, muster up the gall to say that hey shes much more famous than him, whatever the reason, and wouldnt she be clipping her wings by marrying into such a conservative family which is clearly a patriarchal setup....she is a definite brand name...a global one at that...wouldnt she be diluting her punch by marrying into this seemingly orthodox place?

I hope its not indicative of apna public's chauvinistic leanings. Sad, if it is.


Saw 'Infernal Affairs' last night...really good the quote says, almost "out-Heat(s) Mann'...

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

more BB

Channel 4 and Endemol's laughing their posteriors off now...TRPs skyrocketing with people who usually dont have any fondness for reality tv tuning in to see what the blessed fuss is all about....its all snowballed into this big political cultural PC smorgasbord.

Its sad that the trio and the utterly single-celled BF might be seen as representative of multi-cultural Britain. If the show is, as they say holding a mirror to society, the problem runs deeper into the fabric.

M.K. Gandhi once famously replied when asked what he thought abt western civilization, that its "a good idea". Seems like it still is pretty much stuck in the conceptual form. And all it needed was an outsider, a visitor from a remote developing world to open this Pandora's box. Or not.

It might all just blow away and life will get back to its normal un-PC ways. Its no longer about the game which is funny.

But some show, this is turning out to be!

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

meet the trash

Have been following the Celeb BB pretty closely...the prime reason being obviously the Indian factor. Today, it seems quite a lot of viewers have complained to Ofcom and other watchdogs of racism and bullying in the house. Specifically, targetted at Shilpa Shetty.

The lil clique in question that seems to not have enough of baiting "the Indian" were just plain nasty to watch in the last couple of days.

More than sheer ignorance, a very low IQ and a latent racism, it was just pure insecurity - given that Shetty is pretty much the hottest woman there who is quite popular with the guys inside. Add blistering spice to it with the fact that she comes from a world these people have no clue about and still comes across as quite confident and articulate.

She does have friendly people in there who seem as mortified as she is at the going-ons. Tho the bullies seem to have watered down a bit now

But what is most pleasantly surprising is that despite her occasional and justified breakdowns and giggles to cover her sadness up, Shetty is pretty strong and quite ready to talk it out with the others. Have to give the lady credit...shes acting with dignity and won't walk just yet, I think.

As they say, every experience, horrible or good, has a reason and teaches you something. For a person whos coming from a fairytale context like her, this is an education.

Am not so sure tho about the other group. Feel sorry for them. Wonder if its really a *developed* human terms.

Monday, January 15, 2007

much ado abt...

so they've got engaged. finally. two people in love who took the next logical step. but not so simple considering the context they are in.

hope in vain that this should reduce the noise on countless forums across the online world where people evaluate the implications/motivations of the hook-up, passing value judgements (mostly on the lady) and some going to the pathetic extent of character assassination. and these are educated (i assume) people of reasonable intelligence (assuming, again)...who have: a paycheck to bring home, bills to be paid, the trash to be taken out, a good book to finish, the planet to save...

why cant these guys just accept that they're just two people in love, without reading so much of the imagined between the lines.....must be one of the occupational hazards of being a celeb these days...having people who dont know you from Eve or Adam pronounce verdicts on your past and present. and the media's on a feeding frenzy...feeding off the public response to a non-issue and seriously raking in terrific hits & the TRPs.

but I spoke too soon I think when I said this might be the end of the frenzy....rediff has a segment on what Ash and Abhi should do? LOL. I know what rediff should do...get off the topic and get a life! Report on something thats of a lil less personal in nature...what is the need to open up a topic concerning an event in two people's lives to public comment or venomous diatribes as has often been seen in its spaces! Pretty darn ridiculous and distasteful too.

Hopefully, the waters will be calm again once they tie the knot. Or not.

Monday, January 08, 2007


Life is

comings and goings,


and trying on skins,

doors closing

windows opening

a shared laugh and idle chatter.

Life is

just passing through,

not looking back to see who turned at which corner and if there was a

goodbye, ever.

or was it I who checked out first

and did not notice

they were...where?

Faces now.

The way it should be.

Life is.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

memories, already

our tiny visit to West Cornwall...

Our room in Penzance had the most amazing view...waking up and going to bed with the ocean...the gales howling and shaking the window, the ocean murmuring, the gulls in the morning...

...and the promenade itself...all kinds of people strolling along at any time...couples, loners, families, and yes dogs...almost everyone has a dog or two. The British are crazy about their pets, a fact more evident here than anywhere else.

I miss the promenade so.

Also, squeezed in Sennen and St.Ives. Beautiful.


Good morning, 2007!


Sennen Cove


its not going away anytime soon...

step up or down?


Shilpa Shetty's in for an experience in this instalment of Celebrity BB. This shd be interesting.

A shrewd marketing move by the franchise given they will be tapping into the voyeuristic instincts of not just the desis here, but also if they get to telecast the show in India, potentially more than a billion eyeballs.

Wonder what this will do for her career, considering she is holed up with has-beens, B/C grade celebs of the West...apart from her 'Phir Milenge' which was a good flick, she doesnt seem to have much...maybe shes just planning to have fun while creating a first of sorts. The first bonafide Indian entry into non-desi living-rooms across UK, for a month atleast.

Was kinda moving watching her walk up the red carpet in her sari with the desis yelling out her name...wish her the best...

Shes pretty much the hottest in the whole sad motley bunch tho. :-D


Train fares just got more expensive here. Its ridiculous given how bloody steep this place already is, compared to anywhere! And I really dont see where all the money's going.

We went for a short trip to Cornwall through the New Year weekend and on the 5 hour journey to the place, the boiler wasnt working, so no hot drinks. No tea, no coffee for 5 hours.

On the return journey, the buffet wasn't open, so no food, no water and no hot drinks obviously. It was only at the very fag end of the starved and parched 5 hours, that they finally opened up and we opted for a coffee considering we were almost home!

What struck me most was that the junta was SO complacent and stiff upper lipped about all the snafus. In the latter case, it was only at the very end that they actually murmured and confronted the rail official. Makes you wonder.

In India, there would have been huge outcry or atleast crowd chatter over any delay or non-delivery of goods. And am sure, they wouldnt be able to hike any prices up without the other parties boycotting Parliament. Mamata Banerjee would go on a fast, there would be traders striking and paralysing life.

Ah, the benefits of a multi-party system. A true democracy, thats apna desh.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

ugly, just ugly

Couldn't agree more.

Saddam didnt deserve the end he got. The execution was unnecessary.

Yes, he was a despot and had the blood of many on his hands. But he could have been left to rot in prison till his end came naturally. A complete mockery of justice...where sheer vendetta was allowed to take over.

The whole spectacle was so debased...something so barbaric and inhumane about the event. Horrible.

There is blood on the hands of the self-righteous too!

Tuesday, January 02, 2007


Love the soundtrack of 'Salaam Bombay'...L.Subramaniam's wizardry...and the music has its own special memories for me...a train trip more than a decade ago etc... :-)

idly tried finding it on youtube...funnily enough, didnt get this rock-ier version does manage to capture an iota of the mood...sigh!