.

the day started on a really sad note. heard that a young girl in our apartment complex committed suicide early this morning. i might have seen her now and then, smiled at her maybe...no idea who she is. a high school student, she missed her bus and her dad told her to wait at the gate while he got the car keys. she walked to one of the blocks and jumped off the 8th floor, the roof. the enormity of it still hasnt sunk in. sometimes things are so big and deep that they just can't be squeezed into normal articulation and gasps. a life ended, casually. was it a momentary giving-in, a build-up of some emotional maelstrom, can only speculate. terribly sad.

everyday, the newspapers have atleast 4 such acts covered, the ones the press got to...how many more end up as statistics in some obscure corner, no one knows.

read an article about a guy making a film on the Golden Gate in SF and how its the suicide bridge...seemingly happy, casually walking people jump into the deep....some plan for months, some try, are thwarted and try again...some just do it. the workings of the mind are too complex for any rational explanations.

some argue its selfish, its a crime, some say its pure instinct, I own this life so I can end it too...the debate goes on. supremely ironical that it takes an obscene amount of courage to take the final step, one the society labels an act of cowardice. the primary instinct of all living beings is survival, self-preservation. to go against it knowingly, boggles the rational mind. if a second person were to intervene and try and hasten the act, the sick person will fight the attempt since the primary instinct is to survive and to live...even tho, his/her intentions are to end it all.

a life finished. period. God bless her soul and give her loved ones the strength to live on and live through this. sad.