idle notes to myself

wouldnt it be great if there was a place, a zone, a moment, where one could be nothing. totally empty oneself of all the baggage, weight, commitments, faces, relationships and just be nothing. the virtual world, once mooted as an option, isnt really as detached, I find...there are repeat relationships, ephemeral roots, connections and stories...what I mean is maybe a booth, a spot on the beach, under the shade of some tree, in the middle of a downpour/storm, when one can be washed clean of everything...and float and soar and dive and do cartwheels...if only for a moment...the length of the moment, not defined...where nothing is defined...just an eternal feeling of unbeing, nothingness...when I can be what I really am...the spirit, the flame set free. A teaser of what awaits, maybe, once the fat lady sings.

pure detachment, is rarely tasted.

as another scorcher dies

life as I call it

will be another year older next month...almost lived half of my life already...looking back and looking around, not bad at all!

this last year specifically I have seen myself really change, get more assertive with myself, absorbing all the energies floating around, working on impulses as usual but in a more canny way. maybe it was because of the circumstances I chose to be in that helped me be more in touch with my inner.

have been clearer in my head about the baggage I really need on this trip...brushed away a few unnecessary strands...

still as short-tempered and silly as before...still ready with a smile and a cheerful word, still open to newness...still not available to anyone.

have enjoyed every bit of the story...more to come, maybe...but henceforth a more structured predictable storyline, I would say, like with anyone else. but I continue to remain attuned to all thats around on a micro and macro level...

so much more to go through and soak up.